Why don't scientists trust atoms on Mondays? Because they make up everything!

Monday is the day that you find out the weekend needs a recount.

I'm not saying I hate Monday, but it's definitely in my bottom seven days of the week.

Monday is like a math problem. Add in irritation, subtract sleep, multiply stress, and divide your energy.

Coffee is my Monday motivation. Without it, I'm just a really cranky alarm clock.

Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many Monday issues.

Monday is the day that feels like it's 1,000 hours long and still only has 24.

If Monday had a face, I'd punch it... but then it would just be a Monday punch.

Monday is the day that even my coffee needs coffee.

Don't you just love Mondays? Yeah, me neither.

Why do Mondays come after the weekend? It's like they're trying to ruin our fun!

Monday is proof that the weekend is too short and life is too long.

Monday: The day that makes you wonder if the weekend was just a dream.

I'm not ready for Monday. Can I get a refund on the weekend?

Why don't people tell secrets on a Monday? Because they can't keep their mouths shut!

Monday is the day that combines the stability of a unicycle with the excitement of watching paint dry.

I have a condition called "Mondayitis." It's when I can't find any motivation to deal with the day.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He just needed a little space, especially on Mondays.

Monday is like a bad alarm clock. It just won't stop ringing in your ears.

Remember, Monday is just a reminder that you survived another weekend!

Why did the scarecrow refuse to work on Mondays? Because he was outstanding in his field... but not on Mondays!

Monday is the day when my bed and I have the most emotional breakup every week.

I used to hate Mondays, but now I just tolerate them. It's called personal growth.

What do you call a Monday that follows a long weekend? A second chance!

Monday is the day that proves the weekend was, in fact, a practice round for the week ahead.

Why was the math book sad on Monday? Because it had too many problems.

On Monday mornings, I'm not an early bird or a night owl. I'm more of a permanently exhausted pigeon.

Monday should be optional, like turning off notifications on your phone.

Why don't scientists trust atoms on Mondays? Because they're always in a "weekend state."

Monday: The day when coffee is the real breakfast of champions.

If Monday had a theme song, it would be the sound of a thousand alarm clocks going off at once.

Monday is like a math equation. You're looking for your X, wondering Y it's so hard.

Did you hear about the pessimistic musician? He played the blues on Mondays.

Monday is the day when I need a GPS to find my motivation.

What's a vampire's least favorite day of the week? Suck-ulent Monday!

Monday is the day when even my coffee needs a coffee to get going.

I tried to see things from Monday's perspective, but it still didn't make sense.

Monday is the day that makes you appreciate the other six days of the week.

Why did the computer catch a cold on Monday? Because it left its Windows open.

Monday is the day when the snooze button on your alarm clock gets a real workout.

Why did the bicycle fall over on Monday? Because it was two-tired from the weekend!

Monday is like a bad ex that keeps showing up uninvited.

What did one Monday say to the other Monday? "I wish it was Sunday."

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants on Monday? In case he got a hole in one!

Monday is the day that tests the structural integrity of my coffee cup.

Did you hear about the Monday that won the lottery? It quit its job and became Friday!

Monday is the day when my to-do list becomes a "to-don't" list.

What did the calendar say to Monday? "I'm not ready for your next page."

Monday is the day when you realize you forgot to do all the things you said you'd do on Sunday.

Why don't we tell secrets on Mondays? Because they're much safer with the weekend.

Monday: The only day of the week that feels like it needs its own coffee support group.

What do you call a cat that loves Mondays? A catastrophe!

Monday is the day when I put my patience on display... and it's usually sold out.

Why was the math book happy on Monday? Because it had too many solutions!

Monday is like a reset button for the week, and sometimes, I'm just not ready to press it.

What do you get when you cross a Monday with a Friday? A very confused calendar.

Monday is the day that tests my ability to pretend I'm a morning person.

Why did the tomato turn red on Monday? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Monday is the day when the struggle is real, but so is the coffee.

Monday is like a horror movie: You wake up, and it's still there!

Why don't we trust stairs on Mondays? Because they're always up to something.

Monday is the day when my alarm clock and I have serious trust issues.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint, but Mondays still stink.

Monday is the day that makes me appreciate Friday the way I appreciate Wi-Fi after a power outage.

What did the calendar say to Monday? "I've got my eye on you."

Monday: The day that comes around just to remind you that life is a never-ending cycle.

Why did Monday go to therapy? It had too many issues with commitment.

Monday is like a math problem that can't be solved: You're never sure if you have the right answer.

What's Monday's favorite type of music? The blues, of course!

Monday is the day when I wish "Ctrl+Alt+Delete" worked on my life.

Did you hear about the guy who tried to make a calendar on Monday? He couldn't find a date.

Monday is the day when even the coffee needs a coffee break.

Why did the tomato turn to Monday and say, "Catch me if you can!"? Because it wanted to ketchup!

Monday is the day when my bed and I have a long-distance relationship.

What do you call someone who loves Mondays? A lunatic!

Monday is like a speed bump on the highway of life. It slows you down and makes you appreciate the weekend's smooth ride.

Why did the calendar refuse to go to Monday's party? It knew it would be a long week ahead!

Monday is the day that feels like a weekly pop quiz on how to adult.

What's Monday's favorite game? Hide and seek. It likes to hide all the fun and seek out the stress.

I hope these Monday jokes bring some humor to the start of your week!

Monday is like a software update for your life, but you're not sure if it's a bug fix or a glitch.

Why did the calendar break up with Monday? It wanted someone who could commit to a longer weekend.

Monday is the day when even the coffee maker seems to be moving in slow motion.

What do you call a Monday that comes after a long weekend? A shock to the system!

Monday is like a fine wine. It takes years to appreciate, and even then, it might just be vinegar.

Why don't Mondays ever get invited to parties? Because they always kill the vibe.

Monday is the day when I'm torn between "I can't do this" and "I have to do this."

What's Monday's favorite exercise? The snooze button workout.

Monday is like a debit card. You don't get any fun until you've paid your dues.

Did you hear about the calendar that went to therapy because it couldn't handle Mondays? It needed some day-therapy!